There is a question that keeps troubling my heart — a question that cuts through the joy of our weddings and leaves a shadow over our celebrations: Why does the curse of dowry still exist? This old and harmful tradition continues to cling to our society, poisoning our values, breaking relationships, and stealing our humanity.
I often think of a father — a simple, hardworking man. His hands are rough from labor, but his heart is full of dreams for his children. Every day, he wakes before the sun rises, packs a small lunch, and leaves for work. He bears pain, hunger, and exhaustion without a word, just so his daughter can smile, study, and one day be welcomed into a home filled with love and respect.
This father may not have riches. His true wealth lies in his honesty, his hard work, and the prayers he whispers for his daughter’s happiness. He gives up his own needs and health to save for her future. Every coin he saves carries his hope — that his daughter will be valued for who she is, not for what she brings.
But when her wedding day comes, reality hits him hard: the demand for dowry.
This demand doesn’t always come in words. Sometimes it’s a written list. Sometimes it’s a joke with a hidden message. Sometimes it’s just an expectation everyone pretends not to see. No matter how it shows up, it strikes the father like a hammer to his heart. All his sacrifices start to feel small in front of this cruel custom.
And what about the daughter? She feels it too. Her worth is no longer about her character, her upbringing, or her heart. Instead, people judge her based on gold, clothes, or what kind of car her father can provide.
How did we become so blind? So heartless? Don’t we see the emotional and spiritual damage caused by this evil culture?
Islam clearly speaks against dowry. The Holy Qur’an describes marriage as a bond of love and mercy, not a transaction:
> “And among His signs is this: that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them, and He has placed between you affection and mercy…”
(Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) gave us the best example. He never took dowry in any of his marriages. He taught us that the best marriage is the simplest one. He told us to look for piety and good character, not wealth or status.
But today, even in our “modern” society, we hold on to these backward customs. We spend lakhs on decorations, clothes, and food to show off. And behind these celebrations, we still put a price on our daughters. We have replaced love with greed, and blessings with burdens.
I recently heard a heartbreaking story. A young woman married into a family who claimed they didn’t believe in dowry. But soon after the wedding, they began taunting her. Not for anything she did wrong — but for not bringing enough gold. They insulted her father, calling him a poor laborer, and treated her like she was less.
This girl entered her new home with dreams and faith. Now she lives in sadness and shame. Not because she did anything wrong — but because our society failed her.
Is this what we want to pass on to the next generation?
Are we teaching our sons that a woman’s value lies in her dowry? Are we reducing our daughters to bargaining tools?
We must wake up. We must speak out.
The Holy Qur’an says:
> “Do not consume one another’s wealth unjustly…”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:188)
And again:
> “…Do not force your daughters into marriage… if they desire chastity, in order to seek the temporary gains of worldly life…”
(Surah An-Nur, 24:33)
These verses are not just for reading. They are guidance — meant to shape our lives and build a fair, kind society.
Let us stand together and break this evil tradition.
Let us promise — as parents, brothers, sisters, and neighbors — that we will no longer demand or offer dowry. Let us teach our sons to respect women and value them for who they are, not for what they bring. A wife is not a burden or a deal — she is a life partner.
Let us honor our daughters not for gold or gifts, but for their wisdom, kindness, strength, and dignity.
Conclusion:
A father’s silent sacrifice and a daughter’s dignity are beyond price. No amount of gold can match the value of their love and dreams. Let us tear down the walls of greed and build homes on the foundation of respect, faith, and compassion.
Because the time to end the poison of dowry is not tomorrow.
The time is now.
The author is a Writer/Teacher/
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