There will come time when Adultery will be easy and marriages shall be tough. We are living in the same time . People need around one or two years to prepare for marriage ceremony. The marriages are becoming competition . Each day new things related to marriages are coming in market and are increasing the cost of getting married . The dry fruit containers are becoming another headache for those who want to get married . Unwanted and unnecessary spending has increased many folds . Lets take the example of these dry fruit containers . Once the dry fruit is consumed , what is the box used for? Absolutely nothing , its just thrown away . But all it does makes marriage difficult for those who don’t have enough sources . The marriages are becoming the show of money, the time a bride and bridegroom is finally selected . It starts with exchanging expensive sweets . It’s in way required nor was it ever in our culture . Just some years back the marriages in Kashmir were simple and easy for all. But for some years now these marriages are becoming a nightmare for the poor and for rich a time to display their wealth . Dishes are also increasing day after day . The feasts are becoming irritating. One after another dish on plate , makes it hectic and often ruins the taste . The wastage has also increased many folds . There are people waiting outside the house where the ceremony is going on. They are often turned away. Honestly , I am still confused why can’t we give them some rice and serve them with a dish or two and make them go happily . I still have no answer . I get really annoyed seeing people yelling at them . Prophet [saw] said “Never yell at anyone who comes to you to ask for anything. Either help him or turn him/her away peacefully”. Another hadith says “ The one who comes to you asking for help in the Name of Allah never turn him down , even if he’s riding a horse”.
Our religion has no provision where it allows the bride’s side to spend on her marriage. The only feast that is allowed is “Walima” and that too the bridegroom has to arrange it . But in today’s time the bride side is under immense burden . In Islam there’s no concept of “ Barth”. But it has become a evil and a nightmare for bride’s family . A group of 50 to 100 makes it’s way to get bride . We find absolutely no evidence of such feast in the life of prophet [saw]. Some Hadith suggest prophet [saw] married nine time , while as some suggest twelve times . Be it nine or twelve , we find no evidence of a thing called “Barth”. This is an innovation that’s costing too much to the poor people . Simple nikkha is what our religion has ordered us . But we have indulged in such show off of wealth that the daughters of poor have become over aged but aren’t getting married , just because they are unable to meet the requirements of the present cruel world . Had we stuck to our teachings of Islam Nikkha would have had been easy for all. But unfortunately we are living in the times , where Adultery is now available to all and Nikkha to very few. The increasing involvement of our youth in Adultery is all because of the increasing expenses of marriage.
Point must be very clear-fully noted , Islam has nowhere denied sexual intercourse . What it has prohibited is getting involved in immoral sexual intercourse . Islam Prohibits intercourse with each women other than the one you are married with . Islam is a complete guide for life and also hereafter . That’s why Islam has had Puberty criteria for getting married not what we have made . We need to understand our body works on Hormones . And when the Hormones secrete , the desire for intercourse makes way in his/her mind . This is all what happens in our body. A natural process it’s. Which can’t be stopped it can only be streamlined. Whatever we keep saying to ignore it , our body has inbuilt mechanism that makes a body desire for intercourse .
As per data available approximately 10,000 women have become over age . India’s national average for unmarried women rose to 19.9% in 2021, up from 13.5% in 2011. The report shows that more men are unmarried than the women . Either by choice or by necessity .The ratio of Men unmarried is 27.1% and women is 23.5% .
Key reasons cited for late marriages:
1:- Financial Constraints:- The high cost of dowry and elaborate wedding ceremonies makes marriage a financial burden for many families.
2:- Societal Expectations:
Rigid standards and unrealistic demands regarding wealth, caste, and status for potential spouses contribute to delays.
3:- Career-Oriented Youth: – Both men and women are prioritizing their careers and seeking financial stability, leading to later marriages.
4:- Unemployment:- The lack of government jobs and a general decline in employment opportunities in the valley contribute to the delay.
It’s high time we shun all these innovations and turn back to Islamic way of Nikkah .
Our religion has no provision where it allows the bride’s side to spend on her marriage. The only feast that is allowed is “Walima” and that too the bridegroom has to arrange it . But in today’s time the bride side is under immense burden . In Islam there’s no concept of “ Barth”. But it has become a evil and a nightmare for bride’s family . A group of 50 to 100 makes it’s way to get bride . We find absolutely no evidence of such feast in the life of prophet [saw]. Some Hadith suggest prophet [saw] married nine time , while as some suggest twelve times . Be it nine or twelve , we find no evidence of a thing called “Barth”. This is an innovation that’s costing too much to the poor people . Simple nikkha is what our religion has ordered us . But we have indulged in such show off of wealth that the daughters of poor have become over aged but aren’t getting married , just because they are unable to meet the requirements of the present cruel world . Had we stuck to our teachings of Islam Nikkha would have had been easy for all. But unfortunately we are living in the times , where Adultery is now available to all and Nikkha to very few. The increasing involvement of our youth in Adultery is all because of the increasing expenses of marriage.
Point must be very clear-fully noted , Islam has nowhere denied sexual intercourse . What it has prohibited is getting involved in immoral sexual intercourse . Islam Prohibits intercourse with each women other than the one you are married with . Islam is a complete guide for life and also hereafter . That’s why Islam has had Puberty criteria for getting married not what we have made . We need to understand our body works on Hormones . And when the Hormones secrete , the desire for intercourse makes way in his/her mind . This is all what happens in our body. A natural process it’s. Which can’t be stopped it can only be streamlined. Whatever we keep saying to ignore it , our body has inbuilt mechanism that makes a body desire for intercourse .
As per data available approximately 10,000 women have become over age . India’s national average for unmarried women rose to 19.9% in 2021, up from 13.5% in 2011. The report shows that more men are unmarried than the women . Either by choice or by necessity .The ratio of Men unmarried is 27.1% and women is 23.5% .
Key reasons cited for late marriages:
1:- Financial Constraints:- The high cost of dowry and elaborate wedding ceremonies makes marriage a financial burden for many families.
2:- Societal Expectations:
Rigid standards and unrealistic demands regarding wealth, caste, and status for potential spouses contribute to delays.
3:- Career-Oriented Youth: – Both men and women are prioritizing their careers and seeking financial stability, leading to later marriages.
4:- Unemployment:- The lack of government jobs and a general decline in employment opportunities in the valley contribute to the delay.
It’s high time we shun all these innovations and turn back to Islamic way of Nikkah .
The writer is a law student and a Human rights activist
