Backbiting is not just a slip of the tongue; it is a sin that eats away at our good deeds and destroys our relationships, communities, and inner peace. It’s one of those crimes that doesn’t leave visible scars, but it bleeds the soul dry. The tragedy is, while we guard our prayers, fast during Ramadan, and donate in charity, we often forget to guard our tongues. And the most common and overlooked misuse of the tongue today is backbiting.
Islam doesn’t leave us in confusion about what backbiting is. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ explained it with profound clarity. He once asked his companions, “Do you know what backbiting is?” They replied, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “To say something about your brother that he dislikes.” One companion asked, “What if what I say is true?” The Prophet ﷺ responded, “If it is true, you have backbitten him. If it is false, then you have slandered him.” (Muslim)
This hadith hits hard because most of us excuse our gossip by saying, “I’m not lying — it’s the truth!” But that’s exactly what makes it backbiting. Speaking someone’s faults in their absence, even if true, is strictly forbidden unless it serves a clear, permissible purpose, like warning someone of harm or seeking justice. Otherwise, it’s a grave sin.
The Qur’an uses a striking metaphor to describe the ugliness of backbiting. In Surah Al-Hujurat (49:12), Allah says, “Do not backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it.” Just pause and think — Allah is comparing backbiting to cannibalism of your own sibling’s dead body. That’s not poetry. That’s divine truth. That’s how disgusting backbiting is in the sight of our Lord.
Yet, we do it casually in wedding halls, in friend circles, over tea, and even inside mosques. We disguise it as “just sharing,” “only being honest,” or “venting,” while forgetting that the angels are recording every word. In Sahih Bukhari, it is narrated that the Prophet ﷺ once saw in a dream people whose lips were being cut with iron hooks. When he asked who they were, it was said: “These are the ones who used to backbite.” This isn’t fiction. This is a glimpse of the Hereafter.
Backbiting comes from a diseased heart. Jealousy, pride, hatred, revenge, and even boredom feed this habit. Sometimes we mock others just to make our friends laugh. Sometimes we put someone down to feel superior. Sometimes we join the crowd so we don’t feel left out. But the price we pay for these moments of sin is far too high. Backbiting not only steals our good deeds but also poisons our hearts with arrogance and bitterness.
One of the scariest hadiths says a person will come on the Day of Judgment with mountains of salah, fasting, and charity, but he will have backbitten, insulted, and harmed people. So his good deeds will be taken and given to those he hurt. If his deeds finish before justice is done, the sins of those people will be transferred onto him. And then he’ll be thrown into Hell. (Muslim)
This should shake us. It’s not just about the one you speak against; it’s about your akhirah. It’s about who you’ll be standing as before Allah on that final Day.
But Allah is merciful, and Islam is a religion of balance. There are specific exceptions where backbiting is not sinful: when someone is being oppressed and seeks justice, when warning someone about harm (such as in a marriage proposal), or when a sin is public and needs reform. Even then, our intention must be pure, our speech limited, and our goal righteous.
So how do we stop this disease? First, by fearing Allah and being conscious that He hears everything. Second, by focusing on our own faults. Imam Al-Ghazali once said, “If you were truly aware of your own sins, you wouldn’t have time to speak of others.” Third, by changing our gatherings — avoiding friends and environments where gossip is normal. And if someone starts it, be brave enough to stop it or leave.
And if we have wronged someone with our tongue, let us seek forgiveness. From Allah first, and then from the one we spoke against — if it won’t make things worse. Because a sincere apology may cost our ego, but it saves our soul.
At the end of the day, our tongues can build or destroy. Let us be builders of hearts, not destroyers of honor. Let us speak life, not death. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Whoever covers the faults of a Muslim, Allah will cover his faults on the Day of Judgment.” (Muslim) So instead of exposing each other’s flaws, let’s cover them. Let’s pray for one another. Let’s be silent, if we can’t be kind.
Backbiting is a test of character. And our character is what Allah will judge when the world is gone, the people are gone, and only our deeds remain. So choose wisely. Speak carefully. And love for your brother what you love for yourself.
Guard Your Tongue
By: Danish Ashraf Khan
