“Throughout her teenself”

By: Shereen Pandit

Hey! I am a Muslim girl from the fascinating land of the world “Kashmir” surrounded by the beauty and certain level of spiritualism. I am the only girl child in my family ordinarily superior and more privileged.

This morning i had a backpedal instants of my teenage where i dealt with lot of struggles confined withn myself letting my sorrows in relentless. The smell of adolescene each time make me feel more grumpy and agony, It was a gesture of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem and perhaps the envy too. I had a very close group of friends and we had spent most of our growing years together, From deciding our wedding outfits to career growth we utilized most of it collectively, During the course of time I got connected to a guy on “Friends book” because in Kashmir social media was not much in vogue at that phase of time. I felt a strong connection to someone in minutes as i found him intellectual and full of wisdom. I was seeing somebody specifically, Spending time in hopes of finding a committed relationship was no less than the fairy tales. Every morning i used to get ready for my school, Waiting on my halt just to get the single glimpse of him.

Swiftly everything appear to be dying and fading in the interval of this phase. My group of friends scattered with the blink of an eye, The guy i had started seeing turned on his cold shoulder, I could feel his unfriendly behaviour towards me. Sadly no one could make any attempt towards anybody. In the meanwhile my board exams crop up and my head was occupied with absolute fear, nervousness and anxiety. I could sense the point i was dealing with, It was “Mental illness”, An Ignorant often call it “Dimaagi” that is rigorously wrong.

Somehow i managed and prepared myself to appear in exams and with the grace of almighty i scored the higest grades, But my “Mental illness” was still holding me tightly and not letting me free, Performing a huge loss to my body and my mind.

My parents wanted me to study medicine and become a  pretty Doc and i ended up being a pretty “Writer” because somehow the attitude of “Being Intellectual” was still living in my heart. It took me lot of courage and motivation just to get rid of this “Mental illness” i can jott down thesis over the different episodes i was facing all alone, Nobody was there just me and myself. My age is 26 this time and i am doing great in my life, A lot of opportunities make my every day a healthy day and out of those opportunities I am a writer, A social blogger and a journalist.

Author is student of journalism from Kashmir University and can be reached at [email protected]

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